Tender
by MidnightHalcyon
Summary: When Amanda takes it upon herself to care for a sick Olivia, she winds up with a night she'll never forget.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: N** **oah and Jesse do not exist** **in this story. Hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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Olivia rested her head on her desk, feeling like death. The day had been agonizingly long and all she wanted to do was go home, take a warm bath, drink a hot cup of tea, and curl up in her bed.

Admittedly she should've taken the day off, but they had been so close to closing the case that her mind wouldn't let her rest. But at last it was over and she could go home, Olivia thought in relief. Now if only she could summon the strength to move from her chair.

Olivia made a feeble attempt at standing, but her limbs wouldn't cooperate. Exhausted, she collapsed back in her seat. She felt her eyes drifting shut and she didn't fight it; perhaps a quick nap was what she needed.

XXX

A while later Olivia was jarred awake by someone rapping on her door. She emitted a low groan as her door creaked open. Somehow she felt even worse than she had before her brief nap.

Olivia slowly propped herself up to peer at her visitor.

"You're still here?" came the surprised voice of Amanda. The blonde eased her way into the office, files in hand. She shut the door behind her and stared at Olivia in concern.

"I thought you'd be home already, especially since you're sick. The paperwork can wait." Amanda assured her.

"I'm not sick," Olivia immediately protested, trying and failing to seem more alert.

"Really?" Amanda scoffed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "'Cause you look like hell. No offense." She quickly added, seeing Olivia's scowl.

"I'm fine Rollins, just tired," Olivia insisted. "In fact I was just about to leave."

"Oh, well in that case I'll walk out with you," Amanda announced, dropping the files on Olivia's desk. "Just let me grab my jacket."

Amanda pulled the door open giving Olivia a clear view of the vacant squadroom, and Olivia gazed out in confusion.

"Did Fin and Carisi already leave?" she asked aloud.

"Well yeah, shift ended two hours ago," Amanda answered, peering curiously at Olivia.

Olivia turned to glance out of the window behind her. The sun had long since set and the dark evening sky reflected back at her. It was still daytime when Olivia had closed her eyes, apparently she had been asleep for longer than she thought. The brunette tried to mask her surprise as she turned back to Amanda.

"So what are you still doing here?" Olivia deflected.

Amanda shrugged, "Finishing up some reports." She leaned closer to Olivia, "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

Olivia waved off her concern and quickly struggled to her feet, determined to prove she was okay. She was pleased with herself for being able to stand, but that pride quickly evaporated when she took one step and swayed dangerously.

Amanda hurried forward, reaching out her arms to steady the brunette. "Whoa! easy Liv," Amanda exclaimed, staring worriedly at Olivia.

"I just stood up too fast," Olivia muttered, feeling a warm blush heat up her face as she hastily extracted herself from the blonde's arms. "I'm fine now," she claimed, sounding more confident than she felt.

"If you say so," Amanda said hesitantly, her tone laced with skepticism.

Olivia responded with what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

XXX

Together the two slowly made their way out of the precinct, Olivia's slower than usual movements not escaping Amanda's notice. By the time they reached the ground floor Olivia was lagging several paces behind Amanda.

While Amanda leaned against the door frame waiting for Olivia to catch up, she pondered over whether or not she should say something before quickly dismissing the idea. Knowing how adamant her boss was about never admitting to being sick, she decided not to push.

When Olivia finally caught up, Amanda opened the door for her before following her outside. Moments after stepping outside Amanda shivered, unprepared for the cold gust of wind that blew without ceasing. Amanda tugged her scarf tighter around her neck and shoved her hands in her pockets in a desperate attempt to keep warm; however, Olivia seemed unbothered by the wind.

Amanda glanced around the almost vacant parking lot spotting her truck but failing to see Olivia's car.

"So where'd you park?" Amanda asked, as she fished for her keys in her pocket. She could've sworn it was getting colder, and she was ready to part ways. Olivia started to shake her head, then stopped as the small movement made her head spin.

"I walked," Olivia said simply, hoping Amanda didn't notice her grimace as she waited for the dizzy spell to pass.

Amanda looked up at Olivia in surprise, nearly dropping her keys. "In this weather?" she exclaimed.

"It was warmer when I left this morning," Olivia shot back defensively. "Besides," she added, "it isn't even that cold now."

Amanda stared at Olivia in disbelief as she stamped her feet to keep warm in the chilly air. For a moment Amanda thought that was the brunette's attempt at a joke, but Olivia truly seemed unaffected with her jacket half-buttoned and ungloved hands resting at her side. That observation worried Amanda even more and she spoke without thinking.

"C'mon, I'm driving you home." Amanda regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. Driving her boss home wasn't exactly on her todo list for the evening, but it was too late to take it back. However, when she saw Olivia nearly lose her balance as she turned to argue with her, she stuck by what she said. Although Amanda could certainly think of better company for a car ride, no matter how short the trip may be, she wasn't about to let Olivia walk home when she was clearly sick.

"Rollins-" Olivia started to protest.

"No objections Olivia, you're not in any condition to walk home right now," Amanda said firmly, daring Olivia to argue. Even though Amanda knew she was right to insist on taking Olivia home, she realized she was treading on thin ice. "Besides, if I drive you you'll be home a lot sooner," Amanda cajoled, attempting to sweeten her tone.

Olivia had a rebuttal on the tip of her tongue, but she hesitated as the blonde's words sank in. If she were honest with herself, she really didn't feel up to the normally short walk and had even toyed with the idea of calling a cab. She wasn't about to admit it, but the thought of seeing her bed sooner made Amanda's offer too tempting to refuse.

"Okay, you can drive me," Olivia finally relented, letting the argument cease.

Amanda fought back a smile at her rare victory and led the way to her truck with Olivia trailing behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This chapter immediately follows the former**

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After a couple minutes for them to get situated, Amanda pulled onto the street heading for Olivia's apartment. They had traveled for a few moments in tense silence before Amanda spoke. "So, do you have any plans for your day off?" Amanda inquired, trying to start a light conversation.

"Mmhmm," Olivia murmured distractedly.

Amanda waited for Olivia to elaborate but as the silence dragged on it became apparent that the brunette had no intention of saying more.

Although she knew her boss was a private person, Amanda couldn't help but feel slightly put out by the brunette's disinterested response. Amanda frowned, she didn't think her question was invasive enough to justify Olivia shutting her out. She'd be lying if she said she was unaware that she wasn't Olivia's favorite person, but Amanda thought that they had at least progressed past open hostility to a grudging acquaintanceship.

Still, not being one to give up easily Amanda tried a less personal question.

"Do you think Matheson will get a plea deal?" she asked, referring to the serial rapist they had finally gotten to confess earlier that day.

Olivia muttered the same half-hearted response, not even glancing in Amanda's direction, and Amanda let out a quiet sigh, struggling not to let her boss's apathy get to her. She supposed she should be used to Olivia dismissing her by now, but no matter how hard she tried Amanda had never quite been able to shake her desire for Olivia's attention.

Amanda resigned herself to enduring the rest of the short drive in silence. She was about to pull up in front of the door to Olivia's building when Olivia shocked her out of her thoughts.

"Amanda!"

Amanda jolted in her seat clutching the wheel in surprise, both from Olivia shouting at her and the use of her first name.

"What!" she hollered back, quickly scanning the road for anything obstacle she may have missed and preparing to slam on the brakes.

"Pull over now!" Olivia urgently ordered.

Hastily heeding her command, Amanda swung over and screeched to a stop at the curb. Olivia already had her seatbelt unbuckled and before Amanda could ask what was wrong Olivia threw open the door and leaned out. Less than a second later the reason became clear as the sound of vomit hitting the asphalt filled the air.

Gripping the door handle, Olivia dry heaved a couple of times before slowly pulling herself back inside the truck and leaning heavily against the seat. Wordlessly Amanda handed her a tissue and a bottle of water that she kept in the center armrest which Olivia gratefully accepted. As Olivia uncapped the water and took small sips, closing her eyes as she did, Amanda took a moment to study her under the glare of the streetlight. Her skin had taken on an ashen hue and she looked exhausted. All pretenses of not being ill had vanished.

Amanda warred with herself as she debated what to do next. She couldn't shake the nagging sense that the plans were about to change. Olivia would definitely not want to be around her a second longer than she had to now. No doubt Olivia would insist on walking up herself, but Amanda didn't feel right letting her go alone. A dozen troublesome scenarios raced through her head, each more unlikely than the last but all of them heightening Amanda's concern. She knew she was overreacting, in all likelihood Olivia would make it to her apartment just fine; however, Amanda couldn't quell the protective instinct that always flared inside her wherever Olivia was concerned.

Amanda considered her options. She could let Olivia go home alone and call her later that night to make sure she was okay. It only took a second for Amanda to dismiss that idea. She didn't want to risk waking Olivia by calling her, but she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep if she didn't hear from her. With only one choice left Amanda settled on her second thought, she would walk Olivia up and stay just long enough to make sure she got settled in.

It would be enough to set her mind at ease, now all she had to do was convince Olivia to allow it. Amanda knew the independent woman would surely protest being "babysat." Amanda started brainstorming ways to plead her case when she heard the passenger door open and realized she was out of time.

"Liv, wait!" Amanda called, startling Olivia who had just stepped onto the pavement. Olivia raised an eyebrow at Amanda, who was currently fiddling with her seatbelt buckle.

"Thank you for the ride Rollins, but I'm home now, you don't have to get out." Olivia said cordially.

Finally managing to get her seatbelt unbuckled, Amanda came around the truck to meet Olivia. "I know, but I wanted to walk you in." Amanda said without pretense, having run out of time to come up with a persuasive reason. As she had expected, Olivia refused.

"Rollins, I'm fine now. All I want to do is take a warm bath, drink a cup of tea, and go to bed, and I am perfectly capable of getting from the sidewalk to my apartment to do those things without a babysitter," Olivia said sternly.

Realizing she was fighting a losing battle, Amanda conceded. Besides, if Olivia was still able to argue with her, she couldn't be too sick, Amanda reasoned, feeling mildly better about leaving her boss alone. However, unwilling to completely back down, Amanda proposed a compromise.

"Fine, but at least let me walk you to the front door," she said resolutely.

Olivia stared at the tenacious detective wondering why she was being so persistent. Considering that she had just been sick the brunette thought Amanda would have been ready to drop her off as soon as possible, not try to take her all the way home.

Feeling additionally drained from having just been sick, Olivia decided it was time to choose her battles wisely. Sighing at the blonde detective Olivia tilted her head toward the door and began walking, Amanda following closely at her side.

By the time she reached the other end of the block, Olivia could've sworn the sidewalk had gotten longer. She felt that she had been moving at a snail's pace, but it was as fast as she could go. To her credit, Amanda didn't say a word. When Olivia finally reached the front door she turned to face Amanda.

"Thank you _again_ Rollins," Olivia stressed, "but I can manage getting in an elevator by myself so you can-" Olivia abruptly cut herself off, distracted by a white paper hanging on the building door. She saw it when she was still a little way from the door and had initially dismissed it as another irrelevant advertisement; but upon closer inspection she realized it applied to her, and it was exactly the last thing she wanted to hear right now.

"Hot water heater broken, repairs soon to be underway," Amanda read over Olivia's shoulder. She dared to peek at Olivia who looked crestfallen as she read the sign again. Her plans for the evening were shattered.

She had been dreaming about coming home and having a nice long soak in a tub ever since that morning when she forced herself to get ready for work.

The two stood on the sidewalk in silence for a couple of minutes while Olivia tried to come to terms with her disappointment. Meanwhile, Amanda was deep in thought. While they had been standing there a third option slowly came to Amanda. One that, if she was honest with herself, had been floating in the back of her mind for quite some time. Preparing herself to say it out loud and steeling herself for rejection, Amanda proposed her idea.

"Liv. Olivia," Amanda called softly, trying to get the older woman's attention.

"Hmm," Olivia hummed, slowly turning to face Amanda.

"Doyouwanttocomehomewithme?" Amanda rushed out, barely pausing between words. Olivia stared blearily at the blonde. For a moment Amanda thought Olivia hadn't understood her and she started to repeat herself but Olivia interrupted.

"I can take care of myself, Rollins," Olivia asserted with a scowl, sounding more like her usual self.

"I know. But I know how much you were looking forward to being comfortable. I mean, I know it's not exactly what you had in mind, but I have hot water, and tea," Amanda promised. "Let me help you, just for tonight," she said, sincerity clear in her voice.

Olivia regarded Amanda with a look of confusion mixed with skepticism, and Amanda prepared herself for rejection. _It was a crazy idea anyway, of course she was going to say no,_ she chided herself. _You should've just_ _dropped her off at the corner_ _._

Amanda was so lost in her self-criticism she almost didn't hear the brunette's soft response. It took a moment before it registered and when it sunk in Amanda whirled around to face Olivia.

"What did you say?" she asked, eyes wide, certain she had heard her wrong.

A flicker of amusement danced across Olivia's face before it was replaced by a grimace as what was left in her stomach threatened to make another appearance. Fortunately, the feeling passed.

"I said okay, Rollins. You can take me home with you." Olivia repeated, her eyes mirroring Amanda's.

"Oh, that's what I thought you said," Amanda stammered, not quite over the shock. Looking at Olivia, Amanda wasn't sure who was more surprised.

"Okay then, lets go." she finally said, trying to sound more calm than she felt.

Amanda looked at the distance between her truck at the end of the block and Olivia.

"Um, do you want me to bring the truck closer?" Amanda hesitantly questioned.

Olivia frowned. "I can walk, Rollins."

XXX

Eventually the two made it back to Amanda's truck, Amanda thinking how much faster it would have been if Olivia wasn't so stubborn and Olivia thinking that perhaps she should have let Amanda pick her up at the door. She was surprised by how exhausted she felt, but she was determined not to let it show.

"Buckle up," Amanda announced, gesturing to Olivia's seatbelt.

Olivia pulled at the belt, frowning when it refused to move. She gave it another tug, but it didn't budge.

"Here, let me," Amanda offered, sensing the brunette's frustration. She leaned across Olivia to unhook the belt from where it had gotten caught and pulled it across Olivia's lap and to Amanda's surprise Olivia let her, which only worried Amanda more.

Olivia wasn't arguing with Amanda for doing such a mundane task for her, and the fact that she had even agreed to go home with Amanda at all was a testament to how sick she must be feeling. Amanda did her best to mask her concern, but she couldn't help sneaking glances at Olivia as she took the quickest route home.

Olivia sat back in the passenger seat and let her eyes close, partly out of exhaustion and also because she was tired of watching Amanda pretend she wasn't looking at her. Despite how terrible she felt, she couldn't help but be amused by Amanda's reaction to her acceptance. Obviously the detective had expected her to say no and insist on staying home alone, and if Olivia had been thinking clearly she would've done just that.

As it was, she wasn't thinking clearly. Olivia mused on her acceptance, wondering why exactly she had agreed to the younger woman's offer. The only conclusion she would accept was that she really was sick, in fact she couldn't remember ever feeling this bad with the possible exception of the last time she had the flu. But that, she argued with herself, was worse for more reasons than just being sick as she remembered she had also been accused of murder and arrested.

Even if her hot water had been working just the thought of going home, drawing a bath, and making tea like she planned to do earlier now filled her with exhaustion. They were such simple things, but on the way to her apartment they had seemed impossibly hard. During the walk to her door all she could think about was how nice it would be to have someone do those things for her, and then Amanda had offered.

A little voice in the back of her mind whispered that the only reason she said yes was because it was Amanda, but Olivia quieted it choosing to believe she would have accepted the offer from any of her colleagues. The desire to be taken care of outweighed her distaste of letting her detective see her in such a vulnerable state.

Amanda slowed to a stop outside her apartment building and looked over at her passenger suddenly unsure of what to do. Olivia looked so peaceful Amanda felt bad about waking her. However, before Amanda could call her name, Olivia opened her eyes and sat up, seemingly more alert than she would be had she been sleeping Amanda noted.

"Are we here?" Olivia asked, stretching slightly and looking up at the building.

"Yep, Casa Rollins," Amanda announced, her voice slightly higher than usual. She winced, hating how nervous she had become. _This was your idea_ , she reminded herself as she stepped out of the truck. But it wasn't enough to calm her sudden case of nerves.

There was something thrilling and terrifying about having Olivia stay the night in her apartment and Amanda couldn't shake the feeling that she was about to take a self-imposed test that Olivia would score. This was more than doing something nice for a sick colleague, it was a chance to prove herself.

Amanda realized that as unfortunate as the circumstances were, this was the opportunity she had been wishing for; a chance to show Olivia that she cared about more than their professional relationship, which was strained at best. Amanda hoped if things went well, maybe Olivia would start to see her as more than just a colleague. Amanda strode to Olivia's side of the truck invigorated with newfound confidence. She was determined not to screw things up.

XXX

They had hardly walked two feet into the building before Amanda stopped short having realized her first mistake. She spun around, immediately putting her arms out to steady Olivia who had narrowly avoided bumping into her, but was off balance from the sudden stop. Olivia looked down at Amanda in confusion.

"Shit. I'm sorry Liv, I forgot," Amanda apologized, with a guilty look on her face.

"Forgot what?" Olivia asked, now thoroughly confused.

"The elevator's out of order, we'll have to take the stairs," Amanda sighed.

"Oh,' Olivia replied, looking at the long, narrow staircase and wondering if going home with Amanda had been a mistake. "What floor do you live on?" Olivia inquired, hoping the trek wouldn't be too far.

"The fifth," Amanda sheepishly admitted.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter resumes immediately after the former**

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Things were not getting off to a great start, Amanda thought, thinking back to the struggle they had getting up the stairs. It had taken nearly 15 minutes which included 3 rest breaks, 2 near falls, and one encounter from a nosy neighbor who started lecturing about the evils of partying and alcohol.

Once they finally reached the apartment, Amanda guided Olivia to the couch where the older woman instantly sank into the cushions, relieved to no longer be moving, but finding herself missing Amanda's touch when the detective moved away.

"I'd better take Frannie out before I need to break out the mop," Amanda announced, watching Frannie who had been anxiously pacing near the door ever since their arrival. "Make yourself at home. Do you need anything?" Amanda asked, still looking at Olivia with concern.

"No, I'm fine now Amanda. Take your time." Olivia assured, sitting up a little straighter now that the dizziness had begun to subside. Amanda hesitated for a moment before an impatient bark from Frannie drew her attention away.

The moment the door shut behind them Olivia let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Her time with Amanda so far had been unexpected to say the least, and she still wasn't sure if she had made the right decision. Yet, the urge to rest was becoming too strong to deny and Olivia lacked the energy to resist.

Olivia shrugged off her blazer, feeling much cooler the moment her bare arms were exposed. Bending over slowly, the only speed she was currently able to go at, Olivia tugged off her boots and repositioned herself, appreciating the length of the couch that allowed her to fully stretch out. She pressed her cheek against one of the pillows on the couch and sighed gratefully enjoying the feel of the cool pillow against her heated skin and the soft cushions beneath her aching body.

She wasn't usually one to make herself so comfortable in someone else's home, but she always felt she could be more relaxed around Amanda, although she never chose to do so, until now. She blamed the illness for making her lower some of her shields and letting Amanda see her in such a way.

Finally being able to lie down offered a relief Olivia had been craving all day. Her head was swimming and she felt like she was stuck in slow motion, moving through water with every step she took. Walking on flat ground was difficult enough, navigating stairs had been nearly impossible.

Although Olivia was grateful for Amanda's assistance, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed by her dependence on Amanda. After her second near tumble the blonde had taken matters into her own hands and wrapped her arm firmly around Olivia's waist, steadying her as they trudged up the stairs together. Her touch had been both comforting and necessary as Olivia doubted she would have made it up the stairs unscathed by herself.

Thinking about how much effort it had taken to walk up and down her apartment block Olivia was now immensely glad she had let Amanda drive her, as she now realized she certainly wouldn't have made it walking home on her own. But as kind as her gesture was, Olivia was still perplexed by Amanda's insistence on looking after her. Considering how strained their relationship was, and the fact that it was confined to work only, Olivia couldn't figure out why Amanda had gone through as much trouble as she had.

Although a warm bath would surely make her more comfortable, she didn't _need_ hot water; she would have been fine just going to bed early at her own apartment, there was no need for Amanda to bring her to hers. If their roles were reversed Olivia was ashamed to admit she probably wouldn't have done the same, preferring to keep Amanda strictly within the category of a coworker. However, the blonde clearly didn't regard her with the same boundaries.

Olivia thought back to when Amanda had asked her to stay. Initially Olivia thought she was just being polite, but Amanda had sounded so sincere and even seemed like she would have been disappointed if Olivia had said no. Briefly Olivia allowed herself to entertain the thought that Amanda had invited her over because she wanted to be with her, but she soon dismissed the idea. _She doesn't think about you like that,_ Olivia admonished herself, s _he's just being friendly,_ she rationalized.

Yet, Olivia hopefully wondered if Amanda still admired her. She knew Amanda came to New York with a strong case of hero worship and idealized expectations of her, and Olivia regretfully acknowledged that she had done little to preserve that image; instead brushing off Amanda's obvious attempts at forming a relationship and choosing to shut her out. She knew it was wrong, but being around Amanda always seemed to make her thoughts stray to places they had no business being.

Olivia firmly reminded herself it was safer to keep Amanda at an arm's-length away, although she could never quite convince herself that she truly believed that. _It's better for both of us,_ she argued, trying and failing to resolve the frequent argument she had with herself. The puzzling thoughts continued to swim around her already weary mind and Olivia decided to put them to rest, just for now.

XXX

"Are you satisfied Frannie Mae?" Amanda questioned as she and her dog stepped over the threshold. "You took me around the block twice, that's once more than we agreed to." Amanda gently chided her pet before scratching her behind her ears. Frannie barked happily before bounding over to her water dish and patiently waiting for Amanda to fill it. As Amanda set the now full bowl back on the ground she glanced over at Olivia who had made herself comfortable on the couch.

"Sorry I was gone so long Liv," Amanda apologized. "Frannie convinced me to take her on an extended walk. She's a tough negotiator" Amanda grinned.

"Liv?" Amanda called again moving closer when the brunette didn't respond.

A soft snore was her only reply. Amanda peered down at the brunette and smiled. Olivia was sound asleep, clutching a pillow and looking more relaxed than she had all day.

"Quiet, Frannie," Amanda whispered to her dog, who was now pawing at the cupboard door where her food was kept. "Our guest is sleeping." Amanda explained, as she retrieved and poured Frannie's food as quietly as she could.

Frannie paid little attention to Olivia or Amanda's words as she dove into her food dish with her usual amount of gusto. Amanda shook her head in mock annoyance at her dog, watching as pieces of kibble skittered across the floor.

Amanda paced back over to Olivia contemplating if she should wake her up. She had intended for Olivia to take the bed as it would give her more room to spread out, but she looked so content right now Amanda was hesitant to wake her.

Deciding to leave her be Amanda absentmindedly bent over and reached out to brush a stray piece of hair away from Olivia's face. Amanda's fingers barely brushed her skin when she pulled her hand back in alarm as she felt the heat radiating from Olivia's skin along with a thin sheen of sweat.

"Jeez Liv, you're burning up," Amanda exclaimed, smoothing back the damp strands. Standing up straight Amanda made a beeline for the bathroom and plugged the tub, deciding to make good on her promise of hot water. While the tub filled she stripped the sheets from her bed, electing to replace them with cooler ones.

Amanda worked quickly and managed to keep her cursing to a minimum when she banged her knee on the nightstand, not wanting to wake Olivia until she had to. Having changed the linens to her lightest set Amanda checked on the water, getting there just in time to stop the tub from overflowing.

Slipping back into the living room, Amanda tentatively woke Olivia.

"Liv," Amanda called. "Olivia," Amanda said louder, gently shaking her shoulder.

"Hmm?" Olivia groggily murmured, rubbing her hand across her face and opening her eyes to peer at Amanda in confusion.

"Amanda, what are you doing here?" Olivia mumbled curiously, still half-asleep.

"I live here," Amanda replied, trying to hide her smile. She couldn't help it, the brunette was kind of cute when she just woke up, especially when she wasn't fussing at her.

"Oh." Olivia stared blankly at Amanda before clarity slowly returned.

"Amanda," Olivia said, sounding more awake. She tried to push herself up, but her arms gave out midway and she fell back against the pillows.

"Let me help you," Amanda offered, reaching for Olivia's arm and helping her maneuver into a sitting position. With one hand gripping the arm of the sofa and Amanda holding the other, Olivia managed to push herself up, her skin more flushed from the exertion.

Amanda waited for Olivia to pull away from her as soon as she caught her balance, but to her surprise Olivia didn't. Instead she kept holding Amanda's hand while looked at her expectantly.

"I drew you a bath," Amanda mentioned at last, when she realized that the brunette wanted to know why Amanda had disrupted her nap.

"Really!" Olivia responded, pulling Amanda into a sudden hug, unable to mask her delight that Amanda had prepared what she had been dreaming about doing when she got home. Amanda tentatively returned the hug, caught off guard but pleasantly surprised by Olivia's sudden energy.

Amanda headed to the bathroom with Olivia eagerly following behind. Stepping into the bathroom, Olivia was greeted by a large tub filled to the brim with water and a stack of plush towels piled next to it. At that moment it looked like a dream come true.

"Do you want to do the honors?" Amanda asked, offering an orange and yellow orb to Olivia.

Olivia carefully took the object and turned it over in her hands before cautiously dropping it in the water. She stood mesmerized, her mouth agape as she watched the tub explode with bubbles and color, and Amanda smiled at the sight of her normally serious boss being transfixed by a bath bomb.

"Take your time," Amanda said, "I'll be right outside if you need me."

Amanda backed out of the bathroom feeling more at ease about her decision to bring Olivia home with her. The look on Olivia's face when she saw the warm bath was a memory Amanda would treasure. Just when she thought the night might actually go the way she hoped Amanda heard a sound she had wished she wouldn't hear again.

In a flash she was back at the door.

"Olivia, are you alright?" Amanda called through the door. "Liv?"

Her worry increased when she didn't hear a reply. "Olivia, I'm coming in," she warned.

Amanda pushed the door open, grateful Olivia hadn't locked it, and stopped at the sight before her. Olivia was leaning against the wall with one hand gripping the towel bar. Her skin had taken on a grey pallor again and she appeared faint. Amanda hurried over to her watching her step as she went. The toilet seat was up and Amanda noticed with relief that most of the vomit made it into the bowl.

"I'm sorry," Olivia rasped. She attempted to stand up straight and swayed unsteadily in the process. Amanda was by her side in an instant, carefully wrapping her arms around the brunette and pulling her towards her.

"I didn't mean to," Olivia whispered, sounding miserable.

"I know, Liv. It's okay, I'm not upset," Amanda soothed, readjusting her grip as the taller woman rested most of her weight on her.

"C'mon, let's get you into the tub while the water's still warm." Amanda coaxed, trying to steer Olivia toward the bath.

"But-"Olivia whined, still staring at the mess.

"Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it," Amanda promised, moving in front of Olivia to block her view without letting go of her. Curiously Amanda pressed the back of her hand to Olivia's forehead. Although her skin's flushed hue had been replaced by the ashen tint once again, she still felt warm, much warmer than she had been before. _No wonder she's so out of_ _it_ _,_ Amanda thought.

Olivia finally averted her gaze and instead looked down at her clothes in disgust. Delicately pinching the fabric of her shirt, Olivia pulled it away from her before letting it fall again as if unsure of where to start.

"I can help you?" Amanda suggested cautiously. She didn't want to overstep her bounds knowing Olivia would normally never let her help undress her, but Olivia's new fever-induced mannerism gave Amanda the feeling that the rules had changed.

Olivia hesitantly glanced at her, then back down at herself. She grimaced, then nodded, which Amanda took as her cue. Amanda couldn't suppress a rush of excitement at the prospect of being so close to her boss in what would be an intimate way were it not been for the circumstances that brought them there. But she immediately felt guilty when she remembered why they were there. _Don't think about her like that,_ Amanda scolded herself, _She's sick, she needs your assistance not your appreciation._ Shaking her head to clear her thoughts Amanda returned to her task with renewed focus.

Reaching for Olivia's sleeveless blouse, Amanda made quick work of deftly undoing the buttons. When the blouse fell open Amanda couldn't help but catch a glimpse of black satin. Forcing herself to avert her eyes, she reached for Olivia's shoulders intending to push the shirt down her arms when Olivia made a small noise of protest. Amanda stopped, fearing she had made Olivia uncomfortable.

"Sorry, Liv. I'll stop." Amanda started to back away.

Olivia frowned in confusion, then shook her head. "I'll get you sick." she weakly protested.

Amanda relaxed, relieved that that was the reason why Olivia stopped her. "Liv, I've been around you all day at work," Amanda reminded her. "If you were going to get me sick, I'm pretty sure I've already caught it.

Olivia took a moment to seriously ponder her words, scrunching up her face in concentration. "You're probably right," she eventually conceded, closing the gap Amanda had created. She gently grasped Amanda's hands and placed them on her shoulders giving Amanda permission to finish her task.

Amanda quickly slid the soiled blouse off, adamantly keeping her eyes on Olivia's face while it fell to the floor.

"Thanks Amanda," Olivia exhaled in relief. Amanda noticed she moved much more freely now that she was rid of the blouse which had borne the brunt of the mess on her clothes.

"No problem, Liv," Amanda managed to reply. Seeing that Olivia was a lot steadier on her feet than before and that some of her color had returned, Amanda felt safe leaving her. She backed away and Olivia wasted no time undoing her belt, pulling it out of the loops and dropping it on the floor on top of her shirt. As Olivia reached for the zipper on her slacks Amanda made herself to turn around, certain that if Olivia were fully cognizant she wouldn't be undressing so casually in front of her.

Amanda dropped to her knees and started prowling around in the cabinet under the sink searching for a bottle of cleaner. She busied herself with fervently cleaning up the few errant spots and the toilet while Olivia finished undressing, seemingly uncaring that Amanda was still in the room. Gritting her teeth Amanda resisted the urge to turn around as she gingerly gathered Olivia's clothes and exited the room just as Olivia stepped into the tub, her sighs of pleasure echoing in Amanda's ears.

XXX

Amanda hastily dropped the soiled clothes in the laundry area, intending to deal with them later. Right now she needed a moment to herself. Amanda strode to the kitchen intent on calming herself with a large cup of coffee. Filling up the coffeepot with water Amanda reached in the cabinet for her favorite coffee, the one she saved for special occasions or times of stress, of which this was currently the latter.

While searching for the coffee, her hand brushed against a box. Curiously she pulled it out only to realize it was the box of teabags she had bought a long time ago. She had never even opened it. Amanda was about to put it back on the shelf before it occurred to her that Olivia might like a cup of tea.

 _Olivia_ , the name stuck in her mind and Amanda huffed in irritation. She had come out here to get her off her mind for two minutes and she couldn't even manage that. Amanda started to fling the tea back into the cabinet, but she stopped herself at the last minute, feeling bad for getting frustrated at Olivia. She clearly wasn't behaving like this on purpose and furthermore she didn't even want to be here, Amanda recalled that she practically bribed her to come.

Taking a deep breath, Amanda set the box on the counter. Giving up on her coffee pursuit Amanda switched on the coffeepot to let the water boil deciding now was as good a time as any to try the tea.

Amanda paced to her bedroom, figuring she may as well put on her pajamas now. She opened the drawer and pulled out the first pair she saw which happened to be her favorite pajamas for cold weather. Quickly dressing, Amanda laid down on the fresh sheets and let a deep exhale escape her. Today had turned out to be far more than she could have ever expected. It was a huge deviation from her usual evening plans of watching reality TV with Frannie, who only paid attention if there was a dog on screen.

Lately she had wished for something a bit more exciting, but taking care of her sick boss wasn't exactly what she had in mind. _Be careful what you wish for,_ Amanda thought wryly. She closed her eyes and attempted to do spend a few minutes meditating, but she quickly sat up wincing as Olivia begin belting out a very unique rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Amanda wondered what she had been thinking asking Olivia to stay with her. She didn't have to bring her home with her. The only reason the brunette even agreed to come at all was because Amanda had bribed her with the promise of a bath, which had turned into quite the ordeal. Idly, Amanda wondered what had even prompted her to stop by Olivia's office in the first place. She hadn't needed to drop off the files that night, they weren't due for another week.

Amanda sighed as she flung herself back down on the bed. It was pointless asking herself a question she already long since knew the answer to. She turned in the files early for the same reason she insisted on driving Olivia home and ultimately bringing her here. Because she had never quite been able to dismantle that podium that she placed Olivia on so many years ago. Because even though meeting her and getting to work with her fell far short of her idealized expectations, she still looked forward to everyday she got to spend with her. Because when it came to Olivia, any attention was better than none. Because she was hopelessly in love with Olivia, and she didn't know how, nor did she want, to not be.

Amanda sat up slowly feeling drained, the way she always did when she let herself entertain thoughts about things that would never be. Trying to get her mind on happier things, Amanda got up and padded over to where Frannie lay, contently chewing on her favorite toy.

"You're lucky you're a dog, Frannie," Amanda murmured to her dog while rubbing her stomach. Frannie gave a happy bark in reply. She sat there petting Frannie for a while until she felt better and she swore there were very few problems a good dog couldn't fix.

Getting to her feet Amanda headed back to the kitchen. She opened the pantry and peered on the top shelf hoping she wasn't all out. After pushing aside a couple boxes of cereal and jars of peanut butter she found what she was looking for.

"Aha" Amanda victoriously announced as she spied two cans of soup at the very back.

She was just about to go ask Olivia which one she would prefer, beef noodle or chicken noodle. when she heard Olivia scream her name. Amanda nearly dropped the cans in shock, hastily setting them on the counter on her way to the bathroom. She wrenched open the bathroom door, afraid of what she would see.

Olivia sat in the tub, orange suds around her contrasting with her grey pallor, one hand clutching the edge of the tub and the other clasped over her mouth. Recognizing the look, Amanda grabbed the wastebin and skidded across the room, getting the bin to Olivia just in time. Thankfully not much came up, although Amanda didn't see how she could possibly have anything left.

Olivia leaned weakly over the edge of the tub and Amanda automatically rubbed circles on her back. Olivia arched into her touch and Amanda continued her ministrations. She hummed softly, not in any hurry for the moment to end.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's the last chapter. Thank you all so much for reading!**

* * *

Amanda lost track of time, feeling fully at ease until she heard a snore. She stilled her hand and glanced down at Olivia. Her head was resting on her crossed arms on the tub's ledge, and her breaths were soft. As much as Amanda didn't want to wake her, she knew she couldn't let her sleep there; she would surely wake up even more stiff and sore than she already was. Reluctantly, Amanda leaned over to wake her, gently rubbing her shoulder and calling her name.

Olivia blinked as she drifted back into consciousness. She peered up at Amanda and smiled. Amanda smiled back, realizing that was one of the first genuine smiles Olivia had ever given her.

"Do I have to get out?" Olivia whined, sinking back into the lukewarm water.

"No, you can stay," Amanda conceded, "But if you're staying in then I guess I'll have to drink all the tea by myself," Amanda mused.

"Tea?" Olivia perked up. "What kind." she questioned, trying to decide if it was worth leaving the comfort of the bath for.

"I don't remember," Amanda said, "I guess you'll have to get out to find out." She cajoled, watching the indecision flicker across the brunette's face.

"Fine, I'll get out," Olivia announced dramatically. Amanda mentally applauded her persuasion skills, but the victory was short-lived as Amanda tried to solve her next problem. How was she going to get Olivia out of the tub without getting the towel or herself wet.

She seemed okay now, but Amanda knew firsthand how fast that could change. Deciding to err on the side of caution, Amanda stood, rolling up her pajama sleeves as far as they would go just in case Olivia needed help. Amanda started to ask Olivia if she thought she could stand by herself figuring she could just hold the towel open for her while she got out; however, Olivia answered Amanda's question before she get the words out.

Gripping the grab bar with one hand and the other resting on the edge of the tub, Olivia struggled to her feet. With orange suds tracing a path down her skin she turned to face Amanda, who stood rooted to the spot. Amanda's eyes widened at the sight. She hadn't expected Olivia to get up so suddenly, but now that she had Amanda found herself unable to look away.

Olivia was unperturbed by Amanda's staring, too focused on brushing the remaining bubbles off of her. Amanda tried to keep her eyes from wandering, but her brain wasn't cooperating and her gaze dipped lower. She shamelessly appreciated the brunette's curves until her thoughts were interrupted.

"Amanda, can you hand me a towel," Olivia innocently asked, shivering slightly as the cool air graced her skin. The words filtered through Amanda's distracted mind and she snapped back to her senses, her cheeks heating up. She started to stammer out an apology while moving swiftly to grab a fluffy towel from the stack, but Olivia wasn't listening. From the corner of her eye Amanda saw the movement and found herself hurrying to Olivia's side before she even registered what was happening.

Amanda reached Olivia just in time as the brunette abruptly pitched forward, heading straight for the ground. Amanda grunted from the force of Olivia's body colliding with hers but she managed to regain her footing, keeping them both upright.

"Liv, are you okay," Amanda worriedly asked the brunette, who had apparently lost her balance while trying to step out of the tub.

"I'm dizzy," Olivia whimpered, winding her arms around Amanda's neck and resting her head on her shoulder.

"Okay, then let's get you out the tub so you can lie down," Amanda soothed, wrapping her arms around Olivia's waist for support while Olivia gingerly stepped over the rim. Olivia stayed pressed against her while Amanda awkwardly bent down to retrieve the fluffy towel she had dropped in her haste to catch Olivia. She draped the towel over Olivia's shoulders and did her best to dry her off when she sensed that Olivia had no intention of letting go of her.

As they trudged to Amanda's bedroom with Olivia's bare skin pressed against her, Amanda acknowledged how futile her attempt at rolling her sleeves to stay dry had been. She could feel the dampness of her pajamas beginning to seep through to her skin and after depositing Olivia on the bed, Amanda went to her drawer to find new sleepwear for both of them.

It then occurred to her that she should have had Olivia pack a bag while they were at her apartment, but at the time it clearly hadn't crossed either of their minds. Amanda set aside another flannel set for herself and rifled through the drawer looking for a long sleeved shirt and her favorite loose fitting sweatpants thinking Olivia could always roll up the sleeves and pant legs if she got too warm.

"Can I wear that?" Olivia asked, halting Amanda's search. She pointed to the Atlanta Braves nightgown Amanda had tossed out of the drawer. It had been a birthday gift from Kim. Amanda didn't even follow the team, but for some reason her sister seemed to think it was the perfect present for her. Amanda knelt to pick up the short gown wondering why Olivia had chosen it, but decided not to ask as she handed it to her. However, Olivia answered her unasked question for her.

"It reminds me of you," Olivia said aloud, although she seemed to be speaking to herself. Amanda looked up in surprise, but Olivia ignored her as she ran her hands over the soft garment. Trying not to dwell on Olivia's words, Amanda quickly stripped off her wet clothes and slipped into her dry ones with her back to Olivia.

When she turned back around Olivia was still undressed, having made no motion to put on the gown or even cover herself as her towel was haphazardly draped across her where it had fallen when she lay down.

"Um, Olivia," Amanda interjected, "Do you want to get dressed now?" she trailed off when she realized Olivia hadn't heard her.

"Olivia," Amanda called speaking louder.

"Huh," Olivia mumbled opening her eyes, having apparently dozed off. She stretched, trying to alleviate the stiffness in her joints when her hand brushed against the gown and she pulled the fabric to her. Olivia made a motion to sit up, her arms shaking with the effort the simple action had caused. Amanda gently placed her hands on Olivia's back, pushing her up the rest of the way.

Olivia attempted to pull the gown on, but she struggled with getting her arms through the sleeves, eventually giving up and letting it pool in her lap. Noticing Olivia's frustration Amanda sidled over to her.

"May I?" she asked, nodding at the garment. Olivia wordlessly handed Amanda the gown, appearing relieved by Amanda's interference. Amanda guided Olivia's arms through the sleeves, drew it over her head and tugged the gown down as far as it would go in one fluid motion.

Realizing how close she was to Olivia Amanda started to back away, but Olivia caught her hand and stopped her movement. Olivia gently pulled her closer and Amanda relaxed next to Olivia, feeling content as Olivia rested her head on her shoulder. A comfortable silence descended over them until Olivia's stomach rumbled, ending the moment. Olivia jumped, startled by the noise, and Amanda chuckled.

"I think that means it's time for dinner," she commented. "How about I make us some soup?" Amanda proposed, getting to her feet.

"And tea?" Olivia prompted, having not forgotten her reason for leaving the bath as she scooted to the edge of the bed.

"And tea," Amanda promised, unconsciously reaching for Olivia the moment she pushed herself up. The gown, Amanda noticed which fell to mid thigh on herself, barely covered the tops of Olivia's as it slipped down. Amanda tentatively placed her arm around Olivia's waist and smiled when Olivia leaned into Amanda's touch without hesitation as they walked to the kitchen.

Settling into a chair, Olivia watched Amanda make quick work of heating the soup and retrieving tea cups from the cabinet. Amanda set the table and placed the bowls of soup in front of Olivia, letting her decide.

Amanda watched with mirth as Olivia carefully surveyed her choices with the scrutiny of someone making a far more important decision than what to have for dinner before settling on the chicken noodle. Amanda carried the other bowl to her seat then went back to the counter to retrieve the tea cups after filling them with the hot water. She set them, along with the box of tea on the table and sat down next to Olivia.

Curiously, Olivia picked up the box.

"I didn't know you liked this type tea too," Olivia remarked, opening the box and taking out two bags, placing them in the cups "It's my favorite," she revealed with a grin.

"I know," Amanda confessed, fiddling with her soup spoon. "You mentioned it was your favorite so I thought I'd give it a try." she conceded with a shrug.

Olivia seemed surprised that Amanda had known that and Amanda ducked her head, keeping to herself that she really wasn't much of a tea drinker and the only reason she bought the tea was for the off chance that Olivia ever came over. It had been during one of her deeper moments of pining and she gave in to the impulse.

They ate in silence, blowing on the soup and taking small spoonfuls while enjoying each others quiet presence. When the tea had steeped long enough Olivia passed a cup to Amanda and waited with anticipation for her to try it. Not wanting to disappoint her audience, Amanda bravely took a sip. For a second Amanda thought it wasn't so bad, until she swallowed and the aftertaste hit her. Trying not to grimace at the bitter taste Amanda set the cup down, unable to understand how anyone could possible like plain tea.

"Do you like it?" Olivia earnestly inquired, calmly sipping her tea.

"No, it tastes like wet leaves," Amanda blurted out, shoving a spoonful of soup in her mouth to rid herself of the taste. She rose from the table and returned with a container of sugar. She mixed a heaping amount into the cup and took another sip.

"Much better," Amanda declared, swallowing the sugary liquid and grinning at Olivia's look of disapproval.

She had a few more sips of the enhanced beverage before Olivia broke the silence.

"Do you like me?" Olivia abruptly asked, glancing at Amanda.

"Of course I do, Liv," Amanda immediately responded to the out of the blue question, wondering why Olivia had felt the need to ask her that. "You're a good boss," she assured, assuming Olivia's question had stemmed out of concern about her leadership. She thought her response would put the brunette at ease, but instead Olivia looked dispirited.

"No, I mean-" Olivia furrowed her brows, searching for the right words, "Do you like me as more than your boss?" she clarified, setting down her cup and watching Amanda, nervously waiting for her response.

The question caught Amanda completely off guard and she chocked on her tea, having chosen the wrong moment to take a big sip. She sputtered on the hot liquid as she comprehended what Olivia had really been asking. _YES,_ she wanted to shout, not needing to give the question another thought, but she forced herself to temper her response not wanting to scare Olivia off.

"Yes, Olivia, I do like you,"Amanda confessed, her heart pounding in her chest as she spoke, "As a lot more than my boss," she emphasized, deciding she may as well be completely honest. Amanda looked Olivia in the eye, feeling extremely vulnerable as she admitted the truth she had done her best to keep secret for all this time.

Amanda let out a shaky breath. Part of her felt light and airy, like a heavy weight had just been lifted off of her now that Olivia knew how she felt. There was a certain freedom in confessing that made Amanda wish she told her sooner. However, the pessimistic part of her, which was larger than she would have liked, felt that she just made a huge mistake.

Amanda couldn't shake the feeling that she had ruined everything and Olivia would insist that she take her home right now. Amanda's mind was screaming at her to try and take her words back to salvage what remained of the night and ultimately their already fragile relationship.

Yet Amanda said nothing, frozen by indecision and anxiety. Reaching for her napkin, Amanda begin shredding it into tiny pieces, needing something to do with her hands while she waited to see how Olivia would react.

The seconds dragged into minutes as Olivia absorbed the meaning of Amanda's words, her face betraying nothing. The napkin pieces became a small mountain and just when Amanda didn't think she could endure the silence for another second Olivia spoke.

"Oh," Olivia finally replied, seemingly in shock by the confirmation; as though she hadn't believed that Amanda could possibly feel way about her. Olivia broke their eye contact and stared down at her tea, swirling the liquid around in the cup.

"I like you too," Olivia confided, a small smile forming on her face as she glancing up to meet Amanda's gaze, her voice hardly more than a whisper. Amanda strained to hear Olivia, but when she did she swore her heart skipped a beat.

"A lot," Olivia added, almost as an afterthought, but with enough intensity that Amanda knew she meant it. Olivia's words played on a loop in Amanda's head and she was tempted to pinch herself, just to make sure she really heard what she thought Olivia said.

Amanda couldn't contain the smile that stretched across her face, her most unlikely dream had just come true. Olivia had feelings for her. Amanda's mind was beginning to race with possibilities and wondering where they would go from there when Olivia brought her back to the present.

"Amanda," Olivia called, sounding amazed. "There are frogs swimming in my tea," she marveled, staring wide eyed at her cup.

The bizarre statement firmly snapped Amanda out of her daydreams as she regarded Olivia with concern. Thinking about what came next could wait Amanda realized. Olivia was still sick and right now taking care of her was her only priority.

"And on that note, I think it's time for bed" Amanda announced, rising from the table and easing the cup from Olivia's hands. Olivia stared quizzically at the cup, but didn't protest when Amanda took it.

After putting their dishes in the sink Amanda came back to help Olivia to her feet. Once standing Olivia immediately settled against against Amanda as was becoming their habit and walked with her to the bathroom. Amanda rummaged under the sink and triumphantly produced a new toothbrush which she gave to Olivia. Amanda hovered beside Olivia while she completed her nightly routine and escorted her to the bedroom when she was done.

Olivia paused when she reached the bed staring at it in contemplation.

"Which side do you want?" Olivia asked, turning to face the blonde. Amanda faltered at the question, she had been planning for Olivia to take the whole bed while she slept on the couch.

"Neither, you get the whole thing" Amanda announced, flourishing her arm over the bed, "I'm going to sleep with Frannie on the couch," Amanda told her; " _if she shares,"_ Amanda added under her breath, knowing her dog's tendency to sprawl out and somehow take up much more space than her size justified.

Amanda was unprepared for the sorrowful look that appeared on the brunette's face.

"You're leaving me?" she whimpered, sounding on the verge of tears.

"No!" Amanda proclaimed, instantly changing her plans. Gently embracing Olivia, Amanda slowly ran her hand up and down her back, soothing her.

"I'll come to bed later. I just have something I need to finish first, but then I'll be right here" she reassured, remembering the soiled laundry she still had to tend to.

Olivia pulled back slightly to look Amanda in the eye, "Promise?" she asked, needing Amanda's vow.

"Promise," Amanda solemnly replied. She reached down to pull back the thin sheet and waited for Olivia to crawl into bed. A sigh of pleasure escaped her lips the moment her head rested against the pillow and Amanda smiled. She pulled the lightweight cover over Olivia, loosely tucking her in, and knelt to place a soft kiss on her temple. Olivia murmured a sound of contentment as her eyes fluttered closed.

Amanda moved away from Olivia and started quietly gathering up her discarded, damp pajamas from earlier while letting her mind wander. Of all the times she had dreamed of Olivia sleeping in her bed, she never once imagined it would happen like this.

As she picked up Olivia's towel Amanda was suddenly immensely glad that she talked Olivia into staying with her. Considering how disoriented and off-balance Olivia had been at times Amanda didn't even want to think about what might have happened if Olivia had been alone.

While Amanda wished she could take Olivia's sickness away, she couldn't suppress the smile that came every time she thought about Olivia's confession; knowing that it wouldn't have occurred had it not been for the fever-induced moment of vulnerable honesty. She knew they would have a lot to discuss when Olivia was better, but Amanda would deal with that when the time came. For now she was content to reminisce on the revelations the night had brought and treasure how close they had been.

Amanda headed for the door and smiled as she heard the soft sound of snoring before she left the room.


End file.
